Smile of the Day

Life is getting much too serious, yes? Who doesn't need a daily smile?

Wednesday, October 5

Job interviews

Vice Presidents and personnel directors of the one hundred largest corporations were asked to describe their most unusual experience interviewing prospective employees.

  • A job applicant challenged the interviewer to arm wrestle.
  • One interviewee wore a Walkman, explaining that she could listen to the interviewer and the music at the same time.
  • How it is possible to fall and break an arm during a job interview I will never know, but one candidate managed it.
  • A very hungry candidate announced she hadn't had lunch and proceeded to eat a hamburger and french fries in the interviewer's office.
  • One ambitious candidate explained that her long-term goal was to replace the interviewer.
  • There was one candidate who explained that he never finished high school because he had been kidnapped and kept in a closet in Mexico.
  • Then there was the balding candidate who excused himself and returned to the office a few minutes later wearing a headpiece.
  • Asked how he would demonstrate his loyalty to the company, one applicant volunteered to have the corporate logo tattooed on his forearm.
  • One very nervous applicant interrupted the interview to phone her therapist for advice on how to answer specific interview questions.
  • Another candidate brought a very large dog to his interview.
  • Then we have the applicant who refused to sit down and insisted on being interviewed standing up.
  • And another who dozed off during his interview.

What Is It I Am Doing Here Again?

The employers were also asked to list the "most unusual" questions that have been asked by job candidates.

  • "What is it that you people do at this company?"
  • "What is the company motto?"
  • "Why aren't you in a more interesting business?"
  • "What are the zodiac signs of all the board members?"
  • "Why do you want references?"
  • "Do I have to dress for the next interview?"
  • "I know this is off the subject, but will you marry me?"
  • "Will the company move my rock collection from California to Maryland?"
  • "Will the company pay to relocate my horse?"
  • "Does your health insurance cover pets?"
  • "Would it be a problem if I'm angry most of the time?"
  • "Does your company have a policy regarding concealed weapons?"
  • "Do you think the company would be willing to lower my pay?"
  • "Why am I here?"

More Than We Wanted To Know ...

Then there was the rather ... unusual ... information volunteered by some candidates during the interview process.

  • I have no difficulty in starting or holding my bowel movement.
  • At times I have the strong urge to do something harmful or shocking.
  • I feel uneasy indoors.
  • Sometimes I feel like smashing things.
  • Women should not be allowed to drink in cocktail bars.
  • I think that Lincoln was greater than Washington.
  • I get excited very easily.
  • Once a week, I usually feel hot all over.
  • I am fascinated by fire.
  • I like tall women.
  • People are always watching me.
  • If I get too much change in a store, I always give it back.
  • I must admit that I am a pretty fair talker.
  • I never get hungry.
  • I know who is responsible for most of my troubles.
  • If the pay was right, I'd travel with the carnival.
  • I would have been more successful if nobody would have snitched on me.
  • My legs are really hairy.
  • I think I'm going to throw up.


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