Smile of the Day

Life is getting much too serious, yes? Who doesn't need a daily smile?




Tuesday, November 8

Top ten exercises to improve your dealing with, uhm, cavalry mounts

10. Drop a heavy steel object on your foot. Don't pick it up right away. Shout, "Get Off, Stupid! GET OFF!"

9. Leap out of any moving vehicle and practice "relaxing into the fall." Roll lithely into a ball and spring to your feet.

8. Learn to grab your checkbook and write out a $200 check without even looking down.

7. Jog long distances carying a halter and a carrot. Go ahead and tell the neighbors what you are doing; they might as well know now.

6. Affix a pair of reins to a moving freight train and practice pulling to a halt. Smile as if you are having fun.

5. Hone your fibbing skills: "See, hon? moving hay bales is FUN!" and, "No, really, I am glad your lucky performance and multi-million dollar horse won the blue ribbon. I am just thankful that my hard work and actual ability won me second place."

4. Practice dialing your chiropractor's number with both arms paralysed to the shoulder and one foot anchoring the lead rope of a frisky beast.

3. Borrow the United States Army's slogan: Be All That You Can Be: bitten, thrown, kicked, slimed, trampled, frozen ...

2. Lie face down in a puddle of mud in your most expensive riding clothes and repeat to yourself, "This is a learning experience, this is a learning experience, this is ..."

1. THE NUMBER ONE Exercise to improve your dealing with, ahem, cavalry mounts:

Marry money.

2 Comments:

Blogger Sunny Daze said...

Thanks for your site it put a smile on my face.

10:25 PM  
Blogger Tenebris said...

Glad to hear it. We need more smiles in the world :)

4:35 PM  

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