Smile of the Day

Life is getting much too serious, yes? Who doesn't need a daily smile?




Sunday, December 18

What I Want in a Man

Original List:
  • Handsome
  • Charming
  • Financially successful
  • A caring listener
  • Witty
  • In good shape
  • Dresses with style
  • Appreciates finer things
  • Full of thoughtful surprises
  • An imaginative, romantic lover

Revised list, age 32
  • Nice looking
  • Opens car doors, holds chairs
  • Has enough money for a nice dinner
  • Listens more than talks
  • Laughs at my jokes
  • Carries bags of groceries with ease
  • Owns at least one tie
  • Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
  • Remembers birthdays and anniversaries
  • Seeks romance at least once a week

Revised list, age 52
  • Not too ugly
  • Doesn't drive off until I am in the car
  • Works steadily, splurges on dinner out occasionally
  • Nods head when I am talking
  • Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
  • Is in good enough shape to re-arrange the furniture
  • Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
  • Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
  • Remembers to put the toilet seat down
  • Shaves most weekends

Revised list, age 62
  • Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
  • Doesn't belch or scratch in public
  • Doesn't borrow money too often
  • Doesn't nod off to sleep while I am venting
  • Doesn't re-tell the same joke too many times
  • Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends
  • Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
  • Appreciates a good TV dinner
  • Remembers your name on occasion
  • Shaves some weekends

Revised list, age 72
  • Doesn't scare small children
  • Remembers where bathroom is
  • Doesn't require much money for upkeep
  • Only snores lightly when asleep
  • Remembers why he is laughing
  • Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
  • Usually wears some clothes
  • Likes soft foods
  • Remembers where he left his teeth
  • Remembers that it is the weekend

Revised list, age 82
  • Breathing
  • Doesn't miss the toilet.

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