Smile of the Day

Life is getting much too serious, yes? Who doesn't need a daily smile?

Friday, January 13

An informed choice

One day while walking down the street a highly successful executive was tragically hit by a bus and killed. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself. "Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we have never once had an executive make it this far, and we are not really sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," suggests the woman.

"Well, I would like to, but I have higher orders. What we are going to do is to have you spend one day in Hell and one day in Heaven, and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in."

"Actually, I think I have made up my mind," says the woman, "I prefer to stay in Heaven."

"Sorry, rules are rules ..."

And with that St. Peter places the executive in an elevator -- down-down-down to hell. The doors open -- and she finds herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In the distance is a country club and standing in front of her are all her friends, fellow executives whom she had worked with, and they are all dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her. They run up and kiss her on both cheeks and everyone talks about old times while they play an excellent round of golf; and afterward everyone heads to the country club, where she enjoys an excellent steak and lobster dinner. She even meets the Devil (who was actually a really nice guy, kinda cute) and she has an amazing time telling jokes and dancing -- such a good time, in fact, that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shakes her hand and waves good-bye as she gets on the elevator.

Up-up-up goes the elevator, until it finally opens up back at the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter is waiting for her. "Now it is time to spend a day in heaven," he says.

So she spends the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She has a great time -- if not the same kind of great time as she'd had down below -- and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and St. Peter had come to get her.

"So," he says, "now that you have spent one day in hell and one day in heaven, it is time for you to choose your eternity."

The woman pauses for a second, surprised by it herself, before she replies: "Well, I never thought I would say this. I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell."

So, per her wish, St. Peter escorts her to the elevator and again she goes down-down-down: back to Hell. BUT -- when the doors of the elevator open, she finds herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. Her friends, dressed in rags, are picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks. The Devil comes up to her and puts his arm around her companionably. "I don't understand," stammers the woman. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all there is is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable."

The Devil looks at her and smiles. "Yesterday we were recruiting you. Today you are staff."


Blogger starbender said...

Very Clever!

11:24 PM  

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