Smile of the Day

Life is getting much too serious, yes? Who doesn't need a daily smile?

Monday, January 16

Things not to say to a police officer when you are pulled over

  • I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
  • Sorry officer, I didn't realise my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
  • Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
  • Hey, you must have been doing 125 to keep up with me. Good job!
  • I thought you had to be in relatively good physical shape to be a police officer.
  • I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
  • Bad cop. No donut.
  • You are not going to check the trunk, are you?
  • Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.
  • Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on COPs?
  • Is it true that people become cops because McDonalds wouldn't hire them?
  • I pay your salary.
  • So uh, you on the take or what?
  • Gee officer, the last guy only gave me a warning.
  • Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so long one of us does.
  • I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there aren't any other cars around. That is how far they are ahead of me.
  • What do you mean, have I been drinking? You are the trained specialist.
  • Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off of my lap and got lodged between the brake and the gas pedal, causing the car to speed up adn go out of control.
  • Hey, is that a 9mm? That's nothing compared to this 44 Magnum.
  • Hey, can you give me another of those full cavity searches?


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