Smile of the Day

Life is getting much too serious, yes? Who doesn't need a daily smile?




Friday, February 17

A letter no father should ever get

From Lord of the Idiots!:

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I am writing this letter to you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with you and Mom.
I have been finding passion with my lesbian lover Roberta and she is very nice. I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, her tight motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than me. It is not only our passion, Dad, but Roberta is also pregnant with our love-child. We had Roberta artificially inseminated by a reformed drug addict ex-convict we met at Roberta's AA meeting.

Roberta says we are going to be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood large enough to last us the entire winter, since we cannot afford electricity. We share a dream of having many more children.

Roberta has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we will be growing it and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the other illegal drugs that we want. In the meantime, we will pray that science finds a cure for AIDS so Roberta can get better, she sure deserves it!

Don't worry, Dad, I am 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I am sure we will be back to visit with you so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your Loving Daughter,
Sally

P.S. Dad, none of this letter is true. I am over at Tommy's house right now. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that awaits you in tomorrow's mail. I love you, Dad! Call me when it is safe to come home.

3 Comments:

Blogger csmith10du said...

THANK YOU!!! I really needed to laugh and you made my day. GREAT blog!

11:32 PM  
Blogger Mark (Lord of the Idiots) said...

Great Story! My daughter brought that to me from school and I tweaked it a little bit then posted it on my blog. Enjoyed your blog, lots of good humor. Best of luck!
Mark (Lord of the Idiots)
pakulakmadness.blogspot.com

2:09 AM  
Blogger Tenebris said...

And the same to you, mark, and to your new blogosphere endeavour. We need more smiles in the world. Glad we could bring one to you, catie smith :)

2:16 AM  

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