Smile of the Day

Life is getting much too serious, yes? Who doesn't need a daily smile?




Monday, February 13

She said:

I don't know.
I know, but I am not going to tell you, because you should know already.

You look nice today.
Please, please dress like this more often. Your sweatpants and five o'clock shadow are embarrassing.

Let's talk.
Cancel your plans with your friends because we need to sit down and talk for the next couple of hours about how you screwed up and/or I want to break up with you.

Call me tomorrow.
Call me tomorrow, not next week, or I will forget you and find a new guy.

There is this great film/play/bar/club/etc. that I heard about.
I want to go to this place, so take me there before I get pissed off and go with someone else.

You are a great friend.
I am not attracted to you, so please don't ask me out, or try to make out with me because I JUST WANT TO BE FRIENDS.

I don't want to watch Rambo/Rocky/WWE .
What is with all the testosterone-based films? Are you trying to make up for a lack thereof? Sorry, it doesn't work like that. If you are lacking any ... well, I will know no matter what you make me watch.

I missed you.
I missed you. I was thinking about you the entire time you were gone, so you damn well better have missed me too.

I want your honest opinion.
Tell me what I want to hear.

I am fine.
I am obviously not fine, because you so screwed up and you should know it.

I am tired.
I don't want to have sex, so back off, okay?

Who is that girl?
I am jealous of her, so calm me by telling me how much better I am.

No, give me your number, and I will call you.
Like I would call you. I just want you to buy me drinks for the rest of the night. Hahahahaha I win!

Are your friends coming?
I can't stand them. Why do you keep bringing them along and/or I really want to sleep with the hot one.

You left your shirt/bag/etc. at my place.
I want you to come over. I might also want you to have sex with me. Or I might not.

I was wondering if you could come over and help me with ...
I just want help. I might also want to sleep with you. Or I might not.

The quick emergency SparkNote:
In the end, the exact words maybe don't matter -- she doesn't tend to say what she means -- but the tone and body language accompanying them is everything. Miss those, and you are toast.

2 Comments:

Blogger 'Thought & Humor' said...

.

If I could speak in any
language in heaven or
on earth but didn't love
others, I would only be
making meaningless noise
like a loud gong or a
clanging cymbal. If I
had the gift of prophecy,
and if I knew all the
mysteries of the future
and knew everything
about everything, but
didn't love others, what
good would I be? And
if I had the gift of faith
so that I could speak
to a mountain and make
it move, without love
I would be no good to
anybody. If I gave
everything I have to
the poor and even
sacrificed my body,
I could boast about it;
but if I didn't love others,
I would be of no value
whatsoever. Love is
patient and kind. Love
is not jealous or boastful
or proud or rude. Love
does not demand its
own way. Love is not
irritable, and it keeps
no record of when it
has been wronged.
It is never glad about
injustice but rejoices
whenever the truth
wins out. Love never
gives up, never loses
faith, is always hopeful,
and endures through
every circumstance.

May You Always
Experience This
Kind Of Love,
Dr. Howdy

1:45 AM  
Blogger Tenebris said...

Yes: Paul did appreciate agape and philos at the utter denigation of all things eros, didn't he? And yet God still does seem to have created all three :)

Appreciate your goodwill, Dr. Howdy, in the spirit in which it is intended :)

2:22 PM  

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