Smile of the Day

Life is getting much too serious, yes? Who doesn't need a daily smile?

Thursday, March 16

Fun things to do in an elevator

  • Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
  • Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
  • Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
  • Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
  • Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
  • When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
  • Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
  • On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
  • Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I have new socks on!"
  • When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, no, not now, damn motion sickness!"
  • Meow occasionally.
  • Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
  • Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
  • Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
  • Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
  • When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?"
  • Say "Ding!" at each floor.
  • Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
  • Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
  • Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
  • Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
  • Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
  • Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
  • Stop at every floor, run off the elevator, then run back on.


Blogger guttergirl said...

okay, I am hooked. Love your blog! Just what I needed today, a good laugh. Keep it up.

9:10 PM  
Blogger AsianSmiles said...

me too. :)

3:40 AM  
Blogger Hannah said...

Those are from

Credit people when you take their work.

9:01 PM  
Blogger Tenebris said...

Glad I could provide a smile when it was needed :) And I do credit people ... when I know whose it is.

The elevator list, in particular, has been circulating the e-mail lists for decades. In fact it predates the popular Internet: I remember seeing a photocopy of it hanging on a cafeteria bulletin board from pre-fax days. That first rise in popularity that I remember was from the 1980s (I got my first ever e-mail account toward the end of that decade!): is a cultural reason for this, but you didn't ask me for a sociology essay.

As it happens, I have never been to, but I do know that many, many sites have compiled practically the same list: invariably without giving credit ... and so I don't know the original source. Has credited it? I would be pleased to be able to track it down.

2:59 PM  

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