Smile of the Day

Life is getting much too serious, yes? Who doesn't need a daily smile?

Wednesday, March 22

When ATMs get too human

  • You ask for a balance inquiry, and instead of printing out a receipt the screen says: "Not worth wasting paper", and ejects your card.
  • You ask for a balance inquiry, and the screen says: "Account not found", and keeps your card.*
  • You insert your card to get some cash, and the ATM laughs and spits out your shredded card.
  • You withdraw some money to pay some bills and start count it, and the screen says: "What, you thought there was some EXTRA there? HA!" and ejects your card clear across the room.**
  • You think you have $100 in your account, swipe the card for $50, and the screen says: "Not in this lifetime" and laughs as you bang on the machine, trying desperately to get your card back that the machine has taken.
  • You go to the ATM and find a "Most Wanted" picture of you, staring forlornly at the ATM camera, with a caption that reads: "Wanted for trying to get water from a dry well".

* Although I have yet to encounter a "bank error in your favour", I seem to draw bank errors against me. This one happened to me! and one of the readers of this blog happens to work at that bank :D
** "Extra" (or to be exact, random) happened at a (different bank's) ATM on the opposite end of the city from me, apparently for some hours before the bank finally shut it down. On a different day, another machine was caught giving out the equivalent of the local "town bucks" mixed in with the actual cash.


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