Smile of the Day

Life is getting much too serious, yes? Who doesn't need a daily smile?

Sunday, April 23

In the eye of the beholder

After the congregation had started bringing umbrellas to the Sunday services, the pastor realised it was past time to get the roof fixed. Problem was, it was a poor congregation: and with storm season just starting, conventional fund-raisers just would not cut it. So he places his faith in the Lord and places all the church's funds into buying a racehorse ... at least, that was his intention. However, at the local auction, the going price for a horse is so high that he ends up buying a donkey instead. And, as long as he has it anyway, he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races.

To his utter surprise, the donkey comes in third; and the next day the result has made the local headlines:

Pastor's Ass Shows

But this only brings in enough money for the deposit. The small congregation still has to come up with the rest of the funds: so the pastor once again places his faith in God and again enters the donkey in the races. This time it wins; and the next day the local headlines read:

Pastor's Ass Out Front

Now the bishop is not particularly happy with this kind of publicity, so he orders the pastor never to enter the donkey in another race. The pastor accepts this; but the next day, the local headlines read:

Bishop Scratches Pastor's Ass

This was too much for the Bishop, so he orders the pastor to get rid of the donkey altogether. Since there is now enough money to have the roof completely fixed, the pastor decides to give the animal to a nun in a nearby convent. The bishop learns about the decision the next day through the newspaper headline:

Nun Has Best Ass In Town

So he goes storming off to find the nun and tell her to get rid of it, doesn't care how! just get it gone. So she sells it to a needy farmer for ten dollars. Both are happy: the farmer has just acquired a good donkey for a very cheap price, and the nun donates the proceeds to the convent's good works fund ... and the next day the headline reads:

Nun Sells Ass For $10.00

Choleric fury! By now the bishop has the nun on speed-dial: and he orders her to buy the donkey back at once and just abandon it in the wilderness somewhere. The nun sighs and agrees, borrowing from the convent's fund to buy the animal back at a price which will at least enable the farmer to acquire another donkey (if not a race-winner).

After reading the next day's headline, the bishop clutches at his heart and keels over, dead.

Nun Announces Her Ass Is Wild And Free


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