Smile of the Day

Life is getting much too serious, yes? Who doesn't need a daily smile?




Sunday, April 2

Love, lust, marriage

Love is when your eyes meet across a crowded room.
Lust is when your tongues meet across a crowed room.
Marriage is when you try to lose your spouse in a crowded room.

Love is when you are proud to be seen in public with your partner.
Lust is when you don't remember actually having seen each other's clothes on.
Marriage is when you never see each other awake.

Love is when all the songs on the radio describe exactly how you feel.
Lust is when the song on the radio is a detailed how-to manual.
Marriage is when you listen to talk radio.

Love is giving your special other some candy.
Lust is thinking that you are the candy.
Marriage is scraping the children's candy off the carpet.

Love is long drives through the countryside.
Lust is long parking sessions at Lover's Lookout.
Marriage is long drives with the kids screaming in the backseat.

Love is a romantic candlelit dinner for two.
Lust: "Do I have to buy you dinner first?"
Marriage: "Four McDonald's Happy Meals ... to go."

Love is a night out at the symphony.
Lust is a night out at the Holiday Inn.
Marriage is a night out at Sesame Street On Ice.

Love is lending your jacket to your love when they are cold.
Lust: "I can think of a way to stay warm ..."
Marriage is when your teenaged daughter has borrowed all of your jackets.

Love is when you telephone each other just to say, "Hi."
Lust is when you telephone each other to pick a hotel room.
Marriage is when you telephone each other to bitch about work.

Love is when you write poems about your partner.
Lust is when all you write is your telephone number.
Marriage is when all you write are cheques.

Love is when your heart flutters every time you see them.
Lust is when your groin twitches every time you see them.
Marriage is when your wallet empties every time you see them.

Love is when you share everything you own.
Lust is when you take advantage of everything they own.
Marriage is when the bank owns everything.

Love is when you are only interested in doing things with your partner.
Lust is when you are only interested in doing things TO your partner.
Marriage is when you are only interested in your videogame level.

Love is when a rainy day means more time to stay inside and talk.
Lust is when a rainy day means more time to stay inside and ... not talk.
Marriage is when a rainy day means it is time to clean the basement.

Love is when you only leave the house to buy coffee and doughnuts.
Lust is when you only leave the house to buy the pharmaceutical stuff.
Marriage is when you only leave the house when you are allowed.

Love is when your only concern is for your partner's feelings.
Lust is when your only concern is to find a room.
Marriage is when your only concern is what is on television.

Love is when breaking up is something you try not to think about.
Lust is when staying together is something you try not to think about.
Marriage is when just getting through the day is your only thought.

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