Smile of the Day

Life is getting much too serious, yes? Who doesn't need a daily smile?




Thursday, April 6

The man dictionary

It is a guy thing.
There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.

Can I help with dinner?
Why isn't it already on the table?

Uh huh, Sure, honey, Yes, dear.
This phrase means absolutely nothing. It is a conditioned response, nothing more.

It would take too long to explain.
I have no idea how it works.

I was listening to you. It is just that I have things on my mind.
I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra.

Take a break, honey, you are working too hard.
I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.

That is interesting, dear.
Are you still talking?

You know how bad my memory is.
I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I have ever owned, but I forgot your birthday.

I was just thinking about you, and got you these roses.
The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe.

Oh, don't fuss -- I just cut myself, it is no big deal.
I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I am hurt.

I can't find it.
It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I am completely clueless.

What did I do this time?
What did you catch me at?

I heard you.
I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next three days yelling at me.

You know I could never love anyone else.
I am used to the way you yell at me, and realise it could be worse ... far, far worse.

You look terrific.
Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit, I am starving.

I am not lost. I know exactly where we are.
No one will ever see us alive again.

2 Comments:

Blogger Da Katz & Reni said...

ROTFL....

"I can't find it.
It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I am completely clueless."

My husband calls this "looking with your elbows."

Actually I'm more guilty of this than he iz.

Reni.

I post funni stuff, too.

Ever hear of Richard Belzer??? We're sorta distant cousins... lol

5:00 PM  
Blogger theJDman said...

Wait a minute, I protest. I can't deny anything in the list, but I'm protesting because... um, gotta go 'cause it's lunchtime.

theJDman

4:51 PM  

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