Smile of the Day

Life is getting much too serious, yes? Who doesn't need a daily smile?




Sunday, April 16

The rules of chocolate

  • If you get melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.
  • Chocolate-covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.
  • The problem: How to get two pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.
  • Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It will take the edge off your appetite and you will eat less.
  • A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy?
  • If you cannot eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you cannot eat all your chocolate, what is wrong with you?
  • If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.
  • Money talks. Chocolate sings.
  • Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.
  • Chocolate is a health food. Chocolate is derived from cacao beans. Bean = vegetable. Sugar is derived either from sugar beets or cane, both vegetables. And, of course, the milk/cream is dairy. So eat more chocolate to meet the dietary requirements for daily vegetable and dairy intake.
  • Q: Why is there no such organisation as Chocoholics Anonymous? A: Because no one wants to quit.
  • Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you will get one thing done.

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