Smile of the Day

Life is getting much too serious, yes? Who doesn't need a daily smile?




Friday, April 28

Warning!

The liquor licensing board is considering requiring additional warnings to be placed on beer and alcohol containers:

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing with lampshades.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until even your friends may start considering violent measures.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings likethish.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4:00 a.m.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering just what happened to your pants.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and/or name you cannot remember).

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead and knees.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer, and smarter than some really, really big guy named Chuck.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that you are invisible.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think that people are laughing with you.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the space-time continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to disappear.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may actually cause pregnancy.

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