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Monday, May 22

Army staffing

The army had a vast scrapyard in the middle of a desert. The IG Office performed an inspection and gave the following write-up: "Improper Security. Someone can easily steal from this area." So the army created positions for four MPs to guard the facility night and day.

The IG re-inspected, and gave the following write-up: "Improper procedures. There are no written instructions for the MPs to do their job." So the army created a planning section, and staffed it with two NCOs, one to write the instructions, and one to do time-studies.

The IG re-inspected and gave the following write-up: "There are no procedures in place to ensure the MPs are performing their duties correctly." The army responded by creating a Total Quality Management section and staffed it with two NCOs, one to do studies and perform inspections and the other to write and file reports.

The IG re-inspected and gave the following write-up: "Insufficient supervision. There is no definable chain-of-command." So the army created an administrative section, and staffed it with an officer as OIC, a senior NCO as NCOIC, and two enlisted administrative specialists.

The IG re-inspected, and concluded: "This operation has met the requirements of the regulations. However, the command has been in operation for only one year and is already $18,000 over budget. The command must streamline operations and cut back on unnecessary staffing positions."

So, the OIC eliminated the four MP positions.

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