Smile of the Day

Life is getting much too serious, yes? Who doesn't need a daily smile?

Monday, May 29

Laws of the natural universe

Law of Biomechanics:
The severity of any itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Law of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of Coffee:
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets:
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich of landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Location:
No matter where you go, there you are.

Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

Law of the Alibi:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Law of the Result:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of the Telephone:
When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Murphy's Law of Lockers:
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Theater Rule:
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

Variation Law:
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

Warm Water Theorem:
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.


Blogger Sparky J. Canker said...

teresting that you should mention Monterey. I was there in '69 and I have to say that i was completely turned off by the "No shirt No shoes" policy. ironically enough, I never said a word about it until my telephone rang. It was my mohter. She lives in Burbank.

11:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Adjunct to Murphy's Law:

Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.

4:19 PM  
Blogger Courtney said...

LOL! This is funny yet very true. Each and every one of them. Did you make these up yourself??

7:36 PM  
Blogger Tenebris said...

No. As was pointed out by our anonymous poster above, most of these pull from variations of Murphy's Law: which by now have been so far separated fromtheir originators that it is almost impossible to verify original authorship. If anyone knows for sure a specific author (not just another site hosting variants on this list), I will be pleased to edit to acknowledge them.

10:47 PM  

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