Smile of the Day

Life is getting much too serious, yes? Who doesn't need a daily smile?




Tuesday, May 30

Moving to Las Vegas

May 30th:
Just moved to Nevada with the help of John & Bob ... Now this is a state that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! It was beautiful. I have finally found my home. I love it here.

June 14th:
Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this, after all the snow back home. I am turning into a sun worshipper.

June 30th:
Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

July 10th:
The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least it's kind of windy though. But getting used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.

July 15th:
Fell asleep by the community pool. (Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body). Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.

July 20th:
I missed Loitta (my cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car at noon, Lomita had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the upholstery. The car now smells like Kibbles and shits. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.

July 25th:
The wind bites. It feels like a giant freaking blow dryer!! And it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts.

July 30th:
Been sleeping outside on the patio for 3 nights now. $225,000 house and I can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?

Aug. 4th:
It's 115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 85. I hate this stupid state.

Aug. 8th:
If another wiseass cracks, "Hot enough for you today?", I am going to strangle him. Damn heat. By the time I get to work the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!

Aug. 9th:
Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts, and when I sat on the seats in the car. I thought my arse was on fire. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and arse. Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried arse, and baked cat.

Aug. 10th:
The weather report might as well be a damn recording. Hot and sunny. and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do shit for 2 damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this damn desert?? Water rationing will be next, so my $1700 worth of cactus just dries up and tumbles over. Even the cactus can't live in this damn heat.

Aug. 14th:
Welcome to HELL!!! Temperature got to 115 today. Forgot to crack the window and blew the damn windshield out of the car. The installer came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?" My sister had to spend $1500 to bail me out of jail. Freaking Nevada . What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here??

Will write later to let you know how the trial went ...

3 Comments:

Blogger R2K said...

: )

10:58 PM  
Blogger serendipity said...

las vegas!!!

cool.

enjoy your life there!

anywayz, just wanna let you know that ur header quote makes me smile =)

1:50 AM  
Anonymous past said...

Nevada, Mexico....sounds like the same thing to me!

I left a candle in my car for a few hours during the winter and it melted!

That's a sign!

8:48 PM  

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