Smile of the Day

Life is getting much too serious, yes? Who doesn't need a daily smile?




Monday, May 22

One lone parachute

You are one of three people on a malfunctioning airplane with only one parachute. How would you react?

Pessimist: You refuse the parachute because you will probably die on the jump anyway.
Optimist: You refuse the parachute because people have survived crashes just like this before.
Procrastinator: You play a game of Monopoly for the parachute.
Bureaucrat: You order the others to conduct a feasibility study on parachute use in multi-engine aircraft under code red conditions.
Computer scientist: You design a machine capable of operating a parachute as well as a human being could.
Mathematician: You refuse to accept the parachute without proof that it will work in all cases.
Engineer: You make a second parachute out of aisle curtains and dental floss.
Psychoanalyst: You ask the others what the shape of a parachute reminds them of.
Doctor: You tell the others you need to run more tests, then take the parachute in order to make your next appointment.
Lawyer: You charge one parachute for helping the others sue the airline.
Judge: After reminding the others of their constitutional right to have a parachute, you take it and jump out.
Economist: Your only rational and moral choice is to take the parachute, as the free market will take care of the other two persons.
Statistician: You plot a demand curve by asking the others, at regular intervals, how much they would pay for a parachute.
IRS auditor: You confiscate the parachute along with their luggage, wallet, and gold fillings.
Manager: As you jump out with the parachute, you tell the others to work hard and not expect handouts.
Consultant: You tell the others not to worry, since it won't take you long to learn how to fix a plane.
Salesperson: You sell the others the parachute at top retail rates and get the names of their friends and relatives who might like one too.
Advertiser: You strip-tease while singing that what the others really need is a neon parachute with computer altimeter (for only $39.99!).
Philosopher: You ask the others how they know the parachute actually exists.
Teacher: You give the others the parachute and ask them to send you a report on how well it worked.
English major: You explicate simile and metaphor in the parachute instructions.
Comparative literature major: You read the parachute instructions in all four languages.
Dramatist: You tie the others down so they can watch you develop the character of a person stuck on a falling plane without a parachute.
Modern painter: You hang the parachute on the wall and sign it.
Auto mechanic: As long as you are looking at the airplane engine, it works fine.

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