Smile of the Day

Life is getting much too serious, yes? Who doesn't need a daily smile?

Thursday, May 4

Updated definitions

Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes they got the biggest piece. alt. The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes they got the smallest piece.

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens, and everybody disagrees later on.

Diplomat: A person who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

Divorce: Future tense of marriage.

Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Experience: The name people give to their mistakes.

Father: A banker provided by nature.

Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Philosopher: A fool who torments themself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power.


Blogger Ciera said...

i enjoyed this

3:35 PM  
Blogger treespotter said...

some of them are from Bierce's Devils Dictionary, no?

12:25 PM  

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