Smile of the Day

Life is getting much too serious, yes? Who doesn't need a daily smile?




Tuesday, June 13

The educational lightbulb

How many schoolteachers does it take to change a light bulb?
  • None. Anything not completed during the lesson is added to the homework.

How many students does it take to change a light bulb?
  • None. Light bulb changing isn't in the course notes.
  • "Is it worth any bonus marks?"

... and now to American universities (adjust to local stereotypes as you see fit!):

How many Princeton students does it take to change a light bulb?
  • Two: one to mix the martinis and one to call the electrician.

How many Brown students does it take to change a light bulb?
  • Eleven: one to change the light bulb and ten to share the experience.

How many Dartmouth students does it take to change a light bulb?
  • None. Hanover doesn't have electricity.

How many Cornell students does it take to change a light bulb?
  • Two: one to change the light bulb and one to crack under the pressure.

How many Penn students does it take to change a light bulb?
  • Only one, but he gets six credits for it.

How many Columbia students does it take to change a light bulb?
  • Seventy-six: one to change the light bulb, fifty to protest the light bulb's right to not change, and twenty-five to hold a counter-protest.

How many Yale students does it take to change a light bulb?
  • None. New Haven looks better in the dark.

How many Harvard students does it take to change a light bulb?
  • One: he holds the bulb and the world revolves around him.

How many MIT students does it take to change a light bulb?
  • Five: one to design a nuclear-powered one that never needs changing, one to figure out how to power the rest of Boston using that nuked light bulb, two to install it, and one to write the computer program that controls the wall switch.

How many Middlebury students does it take to change a light bulb?
  • Five: one to change the light bulb and four to find the perfect J. Crew outfit to wear for the occasion.

How many Stanford students does it take to change a light bulb?
  • One, dude.

How many Oberlin students does it take to change a light bulb?
  • Three: one to change it and two to figure out how to get high off the old one.

How many Georgetown students does it take to change a light bulb?
  • Four: one to change it, one to call Congress about their progress, and two to throw the old bulb at American U. students.

How many Auburn students does it take to change a light bulb?
  • A whole frat -- but only one of them is sober enough to get the bulb out of the socket.

How many Williams students does it take to change a light bulb?
  • The whole student body. When you are snowed in, there is nothing else to do.

How many Tufts students does it take to change a light bulb?
  • Two: one to change the bulb and the other to say loudly how he did it as well as an Ivy League student.

How many Sarah Lawrence students does it take to change a light bulb?
  • Five: one to change the bulb and four to do an interpretive dance about it.

How many Duke students does it take to change a light bulb?
  • See Auburn (four above).

How many Swarthmore students does it take to change a light bulb?
  • Eight. It is not that one is not smart enough to do it, it's just that they are all violently twitching from too much stress.

How many Mount Holyoke students does it take to change a light bulb?
  • One: she calls a Smithie to do it.

How many Boston University students does it take to change a light bulb?
  • Four: one to change the bulb and two to check his math homework.

How many Amherst students does it take to change a light bulb?
  • Thirteen: one to change the bulb and an a capella group to immortalise the event in song.

How many Wesleyan students does it take to change a light bulb?
  • Wesleyan is boycotting GE ... you know, military-industrial complex and all that.

How many Connecticut College students does it take to change a light bulb?
  • Two: one to change the bulb and one to complain about how if they were at a better school the light bulb wouldn't go out.

How many Bucknell students does it take to change a light bulb?
  • One, but he will only change it if he can put in a white-light bulb.

How many Bowdoin students does it take to change a light bulb?
  • Three: one to ski down to the general store and buy the bulb, one to take the chairlift back to school, and one to screw it in.

How many Barnard students does it take to change a light bulb?
  • One, but she will only do it if it is an alternative light bulb.

How many Boston College students does it take to change a light bulb?
  • Seven: one to change the light bulb and six to throw a party because he didn't screw it in upside down this time.

How many Reed students does it take to change a light bulb?
  • One, and she doesn't even need a ladder because she has platform Birkenstocks.

How many USC students does it take to change a light bulb?
  • Two: one to complain about having to do it and the other to pay the maid to do it.

How many UCSD students does it take to change a light bulb?
  • Eight: one to change it and seven to haul the surfboards, rollerblades and bicycles out of the way to get to it.

How many Loyola Marymount University students does it take to change a light bulb?
  • One, as long as she prays hard enough.

How many Occidental College students does it take to change a light bulb?
  • None. The 90210 tech crew are very touchy about their set.

1 Comments:

Blogger Lauri said...

rofl thanks for the funny stuff

5:29 PM  

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