Smile of the Day

Life is getting much too serious, yes? Who doesn't need a daily smile?

Wednesday, December 6

Helpful information

For those of you who have children, are anticipating children, or have grandchildren, please note the following that a mother in Austin, Texas learned from her children:
  • A king-size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 square foot house 4 feet deep.
  • If you spray hairspray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
  • A 3-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
  • If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape.
  • A ceiling fan is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20' by 20' room.
  • You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.
  • When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit.
  • A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way. The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
  • When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh", it is already too late.
  • Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
  • A six-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year-old man says they can only do it in the movies.
  • A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.
  • A Lego block will pass through the digestive tract of a four-year-old.
  • Play Dough and microwave should never be used in the same sentence.
  • Super glue is forever.
  • No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool, you still can't walk on water.
  • Pool filtres do not like Jell-O.
  • VCRs do not eject peanut butter and jelly sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
  • Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
  • Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
  • You probably do not want to know what that odour is.
  • Always look in the oven before you turn it on.
  • Plastic toys do not like ovens.
  • The fire department in Austin has a 5-minute response time.
  • The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
  • Earthworms will stick to the drum sides of a hot dryer.
  • Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.


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