Smile of the Day

Life is getting much too serious, yes? Who doesn't need a daily smile?




Tuesday, February 6

Dilbert's laws

  • A pat on the back is only a few centimetres from a kick in the butt.
  • Don't be irreplaceable -- if you cannot be replaced, you cannot be promoted.
  • After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.
  • The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.
  • You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
  • Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
  • When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.
  • If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.
  • There will always be beer cans rolling on the floor of your car when the boss asks for a ride home from the office.
  • Everything can be filed under "Miscellaneous".
  • Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour.
  • To err is human. To forgive is not our policy.
  • Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it is not the work s/he is supposed to be doing.
  • Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail.
  • If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.
  • You are always doing something marginal when the boss drops by your desk.
  • People who go to conferences are the ones who should not.
  • If it was not for the last minute, nothing would get done.
  • At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying.
  • When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
  • Following the rules will not get the job done.
  • Corollory: Getting the job done is no excuse for not following the rules.
  • When confronted by a difficult problem you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, "How would the Lone Ranger handle this?"
  • The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong.

1 Comments:

Blogger Just a London Girl said...

i love the dilberts laws!!! they're hilarious!!

11:51 AM  

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