Smile of the Day

Life is getting much too serious, yes? Who doesn't need a daily smile?




Saturday, February 3

The world according to Erma Bombeck - 2

  • Do you know what you call those who use towels and never wash them, eat meals and never do the dishes, sit in rooms they never clean, and are entertained till they drop? If you have just answered, "A house guest," you're wrong because I have just described my kids.
  • Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
  • Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely.
  • Education is so important when it comes to domesticity. I don't know why no one ever thought to paste a label on the toilet tissue spindle giving 1-2-3 directions for replacing the tissue on it. Then everyone in the house would know what Mama knows.
  • Everyone is guilty at one time or another of throwing out questions that beg to be ignored, but mothers seem to have a market on the supply. "Do you want a spanking or do you want to go to bed?" "Don't you want to save some of the pizza for your brother?" "Wasn't there any change?"
  • For some of us, watching a miniseries that lasts longer than most marriages is not easy.
  • For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it's time to go home. It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward.
  • Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're not out of it until the computer says you're out of it.
  • God created man, but I could do better.

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