Smile of the Day

Life is getting much too serious, yes? Who doesn't need a daily smile?

Saturday, June 2

Dear troll

Thank you for your troll. Your troll has been evaluated by our panel of experts. Here are the results of our tests.

We found that your troll was:

[ ] Incomprehensible
[ ] Offensive
[ ] Just plain stupid
[x] Without merit
[ ] Grammatically incorrect
[ ] Laced with spelling and punctuation errors
[ ] Laden with circular reasoning
[ ] Laced with misunderstandings of basic scientific principles
[ ] Somewhat too revealing of your minimal mental abilities
[x] Too similar to other trolls submitted in the past

You could improve your troll considerably by:

[ ] Including a few actual facts
[ ] Taking remedial English lessons
[ ] Mentioning that you are a professional
[ ] Stating more falsehoods as facts than you already have
[ ] Swearing more
[ ] Including more colorful personal insults
[ ] Using the phrases "you people" or "those people" more
[ ] Modifying your insults to cover larger groups of people at once
[ ] Ranting incoherently
[ ] Using religious or racial slurs
[ ] Using the words "junk", "crap", "garbage", "toy", "flimsy" and "professional" more frequently
[x] Using childish taunts
[ ] Including fake laughter such as "ha ha ha" or "har de har de har"
[ ] Focusing on just one outrageous topic will give your troll more punch
[ ] Ignoring any facts, and using more absolutes in your troll
[ ] Using all capital letters
[ ] Focusing more on those areas in which "your" view is better than "their" view
[ ] Exaggerate more, you need not be limited by facts

Please get a:

[ ] life
[x] grip
[ ] job
[ ] clue
[ ] book on basic astronomy
[ ] note from your mom
[ ] telescope

You should:

[ ] Have someone who can read review your postings
[ ] Save your postings for later and think if you really want to send them
[ ] Take your medication
[ ] Not have "one for the road" next time
[ ] Stay in school
[x] Go and buy whatever equipment you want, we don't care
[ ] Think about other people's feelings before you post
[ ] Get your ego boost some other way
[ ] Realise that by trolling a group you hurt everyone, not just the people you are mad at
[ ] Go away so we can talk about the board subject
[ ] Put up a web site with your name on it to show the world
[ ] Take down your web site, it's not very good

Suggested other activities besides trolling:

[x] Posting something constructive
[ ] Actually having a look through a telescope
[ ] Helping someone else
[ ] Spending some time with your family instead of your magazines
[ ] Working off that big pot belly
[ ] Get your ego boost instead by helping out at a local hospital
[ ] Consider another hobby that does not require contact with other humans e.g. mortuary science

Thank you for your submission.

You have:

[ ] passed
[ ] passed with honors
[x] failed, must try harder


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