Smile of the Day

Life is getting much too serious, yes? Who doesn't need a daily smile?




Monday, June 4

What the doctor really means

What the doctor says: "This won't hurt a bit."
What the doctor really means: "It will hurt a lot."

What the doctor says: "This should be taken care of right away."
What the doctor really means: "I had planned a trip to Hawaii next month but this is so easy and profitable that I want to fix it before it cures itself."

What the doctor says: "Welllllll, what have we here ..."
What the doctor really means: Since he does not have the foggiest notion of what it is, the doctor is hoping you will give him a clue.

What the doctor says: "We will see."
What the doctor really means: "First I have to check my malpractice insurance."

What the doctor says: "Why don't we make another appointment later in the week?"
What the doctor really means: "I am playing golf this afternoon."

What the doctor says: "Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm."
What the doctor really means: Since he does not have the faintest idea of what to do, he is trying to appear thoughtful while hoping the nurse will interrupt. (Proctologists also say this a lot.)

What the doctor says: "We have some good news and some bad news."
What the doctor really means: The good news is he is going to buy that new BMW. The bad news is you are going to pay for it.

What the doctor says: "That is quite a nasty-looking wound."
What the doctor really means: "I think I am going to throw up."

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