Signs you bought a bad Christmas tree
- Two feet tall, forty feet wide.
- Salesman's opening line: "You are not a cop, are you?"
- It looks suspiciously like a broom handle with a lot of coat hangers.
- Each branch has "Duraflame" printed on it.
- It is very small and says "air freshener" on it.
- Rabbis have better Christmas trees than yours.
- Constantly bragging about its "trunk size".